Make sure you're answering the right question.

1. Summarize

Give yourself time and show that you’ve listened by summarizing.

​“Just so I understand correctly …”

2. Probe

Don’t rush to answer. Be in a rush to understand.
​
Unleash your inner Sherlock and ask probing questions like “Tell me more …”

3. Answer

Only after unearthing all the hidden clues, give a clear answer.
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Keep an open and curious tone.

What keeps you up at night?

1. Summarize

“Just so I understand correctly, you’d like to know what I’m worried about.  I’m assuming it's critical to understand my thought process with risk.”

2. Probe

“Tell me more.  (Use silence).”

​“Out of curiosity, what parts of risk management would you like me to focus on?”

3. Answer

“What worries me most are unexpected problems that move fast for 3 reasons: 1, it’s difficult to spot blind spots.  2, having litte time to respond. 3, our budget for changes is small.”

Why can't we just hire a vendor instead of a full-time employee?

1. Summarize

“Just so I understand correctly, you’d like to understand what led me to recommend hiring a full-time employee with the added costs, instead of a vendor.”

2. Probe

“Tell me more.  (Use silence).”

“Out of curiosity, would you prefer I focus on the financial aspect or quality?

3. Answer

“We prefer hiring a FTE for 3 reasons: 1, quality control.  2, any delay will have tremendous costs. 3, due to the sensitive nature, we need someone who understands our culture.

Tips

Summarize

Label and validate people’s emotions: “It seems like …” State assumptions. Paraphrase. 

Check out OPERA to see how to manage emotions.

Probe

Use a curious tone. Use How and What questions and avoid Why. Use softening words for hard questions.

Get tips one probing here.

Answer

Learn 3 ways to give dazzling answers:

Scoops: 3 reasons.
Time Machine: past, present, future.
Diamond: problem, solution, benefit, how.